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Spice Up Your Sex
Life
Share Your Sex Secrets & Tips
Spice Up Your Sex Life
Have your Sex life lose its spark? Has it been
a chore to engage in sexual activities with your partner? Do not
lose hope, what’s happening to you is absolutely normal. Many falls into
sexual ruts now and then because routines, by definition, are easy and
comforting.
Much as we’d like to wave our magic wand over your bed and restore your
sex life to its former glory, there really is no one sure-fire toy or
quick fix. However, with a bit of inspiration and a willingness to
explore, you’ll be surprised at how a few simple changes can get you on
the road to a more satisfying sex life.
Begin by asking yourself some questions. What do you like? What do you
fantasize about? Because our society defines sex so narrowly, a lot of
people have trouble imagining sexual possibilities beyond their current
repertoire. Start your investigation with a little research. Buy a
general sex guide like The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex and take a good
look at some of the activities that may have intrigued you in the past.
Maybe you’ve always been curious about anal sex, or you’ve harbored a
secret desire to be spanked. Give yourself permission to explore them
further.
Communication. Talking to your
partner about sex is crucial in developing a great sex life. And
practicing your communication skills doesn’t have to be a drag.
Taking turns telling each other hot stories is a great way to
communicate to your partner what you like or what you’d like to
explore. If talking seems too intimidating for you, consider
writing your partner a note detailing one of your hottest
fantasies so that your partner would know what pleases you the
most.
Take a good look at your usual sexual routine. Do you
always have sex at the same place? The same time? Does every
encounter consist of the same activities in roughly the same
order? Start to imagine possibilities that excite you beyond
your usual habits. If you always have sex in bed right before
you fall asleep, what would happen if you initiated sex in the
morning or on a weekend afternoon when you don’t have any
obligations? Think about your sexual patterns. Do you and your
sweetie always indulge in a good, serious hour of lovemaking? Or
do you like it quick and dirty? If you usually put aside an hour
or two for sex, try a quickie. And vice versa.
Experiment with new ideas. The idea
is to always continue to explore and embrace new changes to your
sex life as changes spice up your sex routine. In a society that
discourages sexual exploration and gives us only a small menu of
sexual choices appropriate for “good people,” it takes courage
and initiative to try new things. However, one of the best
things about exploring new avenues in your sex life is that it
builds intimacy between partners. On top of that, change
requires risk-taking, which all by itself can set your pulse
racing. Make the commitment to try at least one new thing each
month. You can start small: masturbate with a new toy or try a
new sex position, or go for something more ambitious, like a
foray into anal sex or BDSM. Now’s the time to accept your
desires and get to work.
Sex Dates. That’s right, make a date for sex. By planning
sex dates, you and your partner are reaffirming the importance
of sex in your life, and you’re actively creating the time and
space for sex. Although it seems counter-intuitive, you’re not
taking all the spontaneity (and excitement) out of your sex
life. By allocating days for sex on your calendar, you tap into
a key ingredient of sexual arousal: anticipation. Sex dates
shouldn’t be just another obligation in your already busy
schedule; they’re an opportunity to put all of your everyday
worries on the back burner and completely enjoy sex.
Play Games.
Erotic games are a great way to introduce new ideas into your
relationship in a fun and non-threatening way. They also take
the pressure off either of you to initiate sex. Games like Dirty
Dice, Lover's Lotto, and the Kama Sutra Game leave the sexual
activity up to chance, so your encounters don't have a
pre-scripted quality. The Lover's Paintbox gives you the
opportunity to create edible artwork on your lover's body, while
Truth or Dare puts an even naughtier spin on the classic kids'
game.
Erotic Desires. Use erotica,
whether it’s stories, pictures, or videos, to discover what
turns you on. During your exploration, you might find hot spots
you never knew existed. Involve your partner in your research
and not only will you gain new insights into his or her libido,
you’ll both get turned on in the process.
Enjoy the whole process. And last but not least, try to
lighten up in the bedroom. Don't worry so much about
performance, timing, or expectations. Just set out to have fun,
and don't be afraid to laugh at yourselves. Why not break the
ice and start out with a good laugh—try stapping a vibrating
butterfly over your clit or a stretchy vibrating dolphin over
your penis—and you'll be smiling while getting your buzz on. And
remember not to have expectations. Take whatever that comes
along the way and do not forget your compliments.
Enjoy yourselves! Don't get so focused on change, or unrealistic
expectations that you forget to relax and enjoy the ride.
Remember, we can tell you how to spice things up, but you've got
to supply the main ingredients: enthusiasm, humor, and
imagination! |
